To the moms whose babies don’t sleep through the night,
You keep staying up late, googling for hours on end trying to figure out the secret. Maybe you’ll find that one thing that needs to be fixed, and then you all will sleep. You might even find it, figure it out, and you’ll get a few nights of sleep. But then something changes, and you start the process all over again.
You probably feel like this is all your fault.
You have done SO much to help them to sleep between the rocking, the bouncing, the singing, the swaddles, the pacifiers and no pacifiers, the sleep training, the white noise, I could go on all day. You have done it all. Your exhaustion pushes you to the point where you can’t even think straight…how are you supposed to survive this alone?
Take the blame away from you AND the baby.
You are not a bad mom because your baby doesn’t sleep. You haven’t failed them. I can’t think of one mom that would purposefully teach her child NOT to sleep. You don’t know (yet) what they need in order to have a good restful sleep. You’re figuring it out. They are too. They can’t tell you what they need either. It’s not your fault you don’t know what they want. It’s not their fault they don’t know and can’t communicate what they want. Move past the blame and start living.
Give yourself grace and live in the moment.
Don’t keep a running tally of how many nights it has been since you’ve slept. It will just depress you. Don’t tell yourself no, you can’t pick up the baby or take a nap with them because you don’t want to start a bad habit. Pick that baby up, feed them one more time, snuggle them until they sleep, sing their favorite song. In the grand scheme of things, this is such a small moment. Live in it. Don’t just wait for this sleepless phase to pass, enjoy it.
Just know it gets better.
It will get better. Don’t give up the hope that they will sleep. They will! Make the hard choices, tell yourself when enough is enough.
- Ask for help.
- Find support.
- Take care of yourself.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Accentuate the positives.
- Laugh at the things you find yourself doing because you are so tired.
Take heart in the fact that you know what is best for your family.
So nurse them to sleep (again), let them sleep in your arms (again), rock them until they fall asleep (again), sing their favorite song (again), read the same book (again), and realize that one day again won’t come. Tuck that baby in and hope tonight is the night they will sleep. But if not, it’s okay. There is always tomorrow.
Believe me when I say, there will come a time when your baby is fast asleep in the other room, you will wish they wouldn’t have grown up so fast.
Wishing you sweet dreams,
Another mom whose babies don’t sleep through the night… yet.
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