My husband and I will be married 13 years this coming March and have battled infertility for 7 of those years. Those years were extremely tough and lonely. We definitely grew closer as a couple. My faith was challenged, but it made me run closer to God as I knew He was the only one that could provide us a child.
We have a biological son who is 5.5 years old. He was a complete surprise as I did not find out I was pregnant with him until twelve weeks. Prior to finding out we were pregnant, we had already begun talking with adoption agencies. As we cherished each moment with our biological son, we knew that we were desiring to have more children. After a year of trying to conceive, we decided to once again pursue adoption when he was three years old.
There are several ways to adopt:
- Private Agency
- Foster to Adopt State Services
- Through an Attorney
We felt like the private agency route was the way we wanted to go. After waiting for a year, working with a local Iowa agency, we decided to pursue an additional organization that would connect us to agencies all over the United States, Christian Adoption Consultants.
What is unique about private adoption is prospective adoptive families create a family profile book with photos and information about themselves. The birth parents choose who their child(ren) will be placed with. Most private adoptions today are typically open adoptions, which means the adopted children will have some contact with birthparents throughout their lives. This may be scary to some people pursing adoption early on. However, it is often much better for the adoptive children as they change, grow, and process what being adopted means.
Getting The Call
Fast forward to late December 2016. We received a phone call that we had been chosen by a birthmother who was pregnant and wanted to place her 4.5 year old son as well. She wanted them to be together in the same family. We rushed down to Florida the next day and our second son, now five joined our family two days before Christmas of 2016! It was the best Christmas gift ever. I had always felt bad that our oldest son did not have a playmate close to his age. God knew my heart and made this possible!
Fast forward again and our third son was born at the end of June. I had the opportunity to hold him ten minutes after he was born. We are so blessed to have a great relationship with our adoptive sons’ birth mom. Our third son is now three months old and I can officially say I am a boy mom!
Adoption exits because of love and loss.
As we are getting closer to a year of being an adoptive family, it is good to reflect. We have been given two of the most amazing gifts we could ever ask for. It is extremely humbling. However, adoption often comes with mixed emotions. We have experienced loss through infertility and the pain that comes along with that. Yet, we have also experienced the greatest love of our sons’ birth mom choosing us to raise her two boys. Their birth mom is likely experiencing intense loss as she misses our two boys.
There are a lot of ups and downs with children who are adopted. They typically have experienced some sort of trauma or lack of caring relationship in their lives. Each story is so different and unique just like each person who is born! I encourage you to wrap your arms around families choosing to foster or adopt! These families are so excited to love these children, but may be going through extra adjustments and scenarios they may never have dealt with before.
Never in our wildest dreams would we have thought that God would give us two children in less than nine months! Even though it was so long, the wait was so worth it!
If you have questions or are interested in more information about adoption, feel free to email Cassy at [email protected].
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