For those of you who don’t know Phil Dunphy, you should. He’s a character on a show called Modern Family, and he is down right fun and comedic and loveable and the definition of an “eye roll” Dad. Think Dad jokes for days. Yet he has a charm about him and sometimes when my husband and I are watching the show, one of his “Phil-osophy’s” (yes these are real things) will stick with me longer than I anticipate. This one in particular:
“That’s the funny thing about marriage. You fall in love with this extraordinary person and over time, they begin to seem ordinary… I think it’s all the nagging.” -Phil Dunphy
I think at times my extraordinary husband and father of my children becomes ordinary as the day-to-day passes us by. I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic with Father’s Day coming up, and I think too often these extraordinary men get lost in the shuffle or fail to get the attention and credit they deserve. Sometimes when I see pictures of my husband throughout his life before me and the boys, I smile thinking he had no idea how great he would be at this whole Dad gig. It would have been nice to tell him these things before he was a Daddy…
Dear future Baby Daddy,
Hey there. Future wifey and Baby Mama here. You don’t know me quite yet, but we have shared 9.5 years together and have done some super amazing things…2.5 humans for starters. I know right now dribbling the orange ball around, pushing weights, house parties, and winning a few games are at the top of your priority list and you can’t imagine anything being more important than Friday’s rivalry game. But a few years down the road, when you’ve hung up your jersey, your priorities will be a little different. And I wanted to take some time to tell you that of all the things you’ve ever excelled at in your life, being an amazing Dad is your greatest gift.
I’m your wife Amanda, and you’ll marry me in the Fall of 2010 (GREAT choice by the way). Our parents are not lying when they say marriage is hard. It’s not all roses, and there are times where there are many more valleys than peaks. Especially the first few years when we are figuring out how to transition from college to the real world, handle the responsibilities of a mortgage, and discovering this sports-free, worry-filled life. We find out we are expecting just three months after getting married. Some of our marriage growing pains happen in the thick of welcoming and raising our first child. But over time the valleys are shorter lived, and we relish in the peaks. I always knew you’d be a good Dad, but I didn’t realize how good. I certainly didn’t realize the jackpot I had hit when we got married. It was like having the winning lotto ticket in my wallet and not realizing it until much later.
We welcome a son a day after our 1st wedding anniversary. Jimmer Jack makes you a Daddy. I will love you more that day than I did the day before. And even more 3 ½ years later in May 2015 when we welcome our second son Jordy William. And I’ll love you even more in a few months when we welcome our third and final baby at the end of August 2016 (Yes, Daddy x 3…We are crazy!)
If you’re wondering what kind of Dad you’ll be, or what life will be like, let me give you a little insight. Life is so good. It’s not perfect, but it’s the greatest beautiful mess we’ve ever experienced. Jimmer is your clone and best buddy, and he thinks you are a real life super hero. I asked him what his favorite thing about his Daddy was the other day, and he said, “Well, he throws baseballs to me, wrestles with me, and turns on arctoons (he means cartoons) for me.” A testament to how much TIME you spend with him. Jordy lights up like a Christmas tree when you walk into the room and clings to you like a dryer sheet. You are patient, and affectionate, and selfless with your boys. They have no idea how lucky they are. And sometimes I forget, too.
You work hard for us, but you are home by 4:30 pm every day. You are tired, but you still play baseball with Jimmer in the backyard. You want to watch the Cardinals game, but you wrestle with Jordy and change his mess of a diaper even though the bases are loaded at the bottom of the 9th. You teach them to love me, and to talk nice to me. You wipe tears, and discipline, and fight through exhaustion. You pray with Jimmer and I every night before bed. You refill endless milk cups, make blanket forts, fill water balloons, put on tiny super hero masks, and you love us. And we love you.
I won’t tell you enough all of the things I just mentioned like I should. And I’m not sure I realized (until the last few years) just how big the jackpot was that I won (HUGE). I am so incredibly grateful for you. It will drive you crazy when I’m too soft on Jimmer when I need to be more firm. You’ll cringe when I fail to put another one of Jordy’s diapers out in the “diaper garbage”. And despite my desperate wishes, you will never become more of a morning person, so I will be up at 5:30 am with Jordy while you snooze away. But at the end of the day, we are a team at this parenting gig. We have a good system going, and I am thankful for that.
So someday when the gym lights have dimmed, and you trade your Jordans for dress shoes and collared shirts, I’m here to tell you life is even better now. The best actually. And someday when our children are older, I will tell them that the greatest gift I ever gave them was you.
Happy Future Father’s Day…to the greatest.
Your future Wifey and Baby Mama